Why is asking for help so difficult & Fancy Friday

asking for help

So for the first time in my life I asked for help. Sounds very strange, but it is a thing. Look, I have sometimes asked if someone could help me with small things, but for something bigger …. no. Me and Gerben are of those types who can manage it all themselves.

Ask friends for helppinstripe dress and sneakers

I suddenly realize that when we moved house 5 years ago, we asked our friends to help with odd jobs. Because I can’t do that anymore. And since we had everything rebuilt in this house, and there was still enough left for Gerben, we asked our friends. I found it quite exciting to ask, we, and our friends, don’t ask each other for help easily. The majority of them are self employed and are very busy as it is. But everyone helped really well at the time, and that really shattered. We where very grateful. Btw, if we ask now, they all would help immediately! They are that sort of friends!

Ask the council for help!why is asking for help so difficult

But now I have asked the council for help. Firstly for household help. I certainly do what I can do myself. But Gerben does the heavier jobs such as the bathroom, washing the windows, mopping, etc. But Gerben also simply doesn’t have any time left and then I decided to apply for help from the municipality. And I have decided that I want a good wheelchair. I can walk a little bit, on a good day with no wind, and I want to be able to go somewhere and not always need someone to push me around. (haha, I don’t like to be pushed around!) Well, we now get household help two hours a week and I get a new wheelchair with support. A Smoove. I’m actually quite happy with it, I was allowed to try one for two weeks. So it isn’t always scary! It can also turn out very well. Learned another lesson!

What am I wearing

A pinstripe dress that Tessa made for me and a navy long cardigan with sneakers! Casual meets business or something like that. Or just a dress with a cardigan and sneakers. Haha. I wear a lot of blue I noticed! How did that happen. Well, I love this dress, especially the cuffs. Tessa is a Dutch fashion designer who makes customized clothing. She made me this one a few years ago. And she customized this one in 2018.

I am wearing some leopard print accessories with the dress. Also the earrings have a leopard print, a gift from Gerben for Christmas, but I don’t think it’s that visible for you!
blue long cardigan

asking for helpFancy Friday linkup

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86 Comments

  1. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Asking for help is hard for a lot of us but I’m glad you did. I checked out your Smoove. It looks pretty cool and very smooth to operate. I like that you dress was locally produced. Very cool-and navy is such a timeless classic color isn’t it. Take care, Terri

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks Terri, yes I like navy a lot. It is always a classy color too!

  2. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    It is hard to ask for help when you are so strong and independent and then find yourself needing assistance. I guess it’s good to remember how good it feels to help someone else – so when we ask we are really giving someone an opportunity to feel good too!
    xo,
    Kellyann

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Haha, wow that is a good one! I have to remember that!

  3. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    No speed fines on that Smoove Nancy! Dee is saving for one herself. I’m glad you got your help. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sure everyone loves to help anyway. xx

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Dee is saving for a Smoove? Can’t she rely on the council? She can try mine when I am in the Uk, Lol!

  4. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Well done for asking for help, it’s very difficult to do. But anything to make your lives easier and keep you independent. Loving the leopard accessories with your dress.

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much Gail!

  5. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Dear Nancy,
    I am so sorry, the linkup dont works. My new internet security program blocked the web site 🙁
    I hope, I will find a solution…
    Your dress is very nice. I like this easy styling.
    Have an nice weekend,
    love
    Birgit
    fortyfiftyhappy.de

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      I hope you will find a solution too! Would love to see you on my linkup party!

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      It aint easy is it Kathrine!! Thanks love!

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much Anna!

  6. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Nancy,

    I am so glad you asked for help when you need it the most!
    Pride has a way of preventing us from asking for help when we really can’t do something on our own.
    You waited until you and Gerben couldn’t do everything on your own and I’m so glad you got the help you needed.

    I would have helped you if I lived near you. As Kellyann said, it would have made me feel good!

    Hugs,
    Robin
    https://helloim50ish.com

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Oh my goodness, you are just to kind!Thank you very much Robin!

  7. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Asking for help is hard for most of us. I think we feel like we should be able to do it all ourselves but it is something we need to learn to do. For our health or our sanity! Glad you are getting extra help around the house. Saw you trying out the wheelchair on Instagram. Looks like it will work out great for you!
    http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

    • nancy
      Author
      31st January 2020 / 18:22

      Yes, that guy just picked up that wheelchair and now one is ordered for me!

  8. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    It’s a good reminder to all of us that we can and should ask for help when we need it. I love providing help to the ones I love, so that means other people probably are happy to return the favor. I didn’t realize you needed a wheelchair but I am so glad that you were able to receive one, making exploration and life easier for you. As for the outfit, it’s another hit! Have a great weekend.

    bosbodaciousblog.blogspot.ca

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      And if I look at myself, I also love to help other people. I do volunteer work to help others. So it is stupid not to ask for help myself! Thanks love!

  9. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Hello Nancy. I’m coming to your blog through a comment you left on Leslie’s Once Upon a Time and Happily Ever After. I can relate to your comment about never wanting to ask for help. I am much the same way. Then a coach told me that by not asking I am depriving the other person of the opportunity to do something that makes them feel good. Okay…it still doesn’t come naturally to me, but I do ask for help when I really need it now. Congratulations on your new chair. I hope it will be perfect for you. The outfit looks great by the way!

    ~Christie

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Oh how nice of you! Thank you very much! I am more aware now that some people really want to help!

  10. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I think we focus so much on being independent it’s hard to ask for help sometimes. I’m glad you asked and were able to receive a wheelchair. Hope it works out great for you! This is such a fun outfit! Love the belted cardigan!

    Jill – Doused in Pink

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      I agree. Asking for help is often seen as a weekness. Thanks Jill!

  11. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Nancy, I love this outfit. The pinstripes and leopard print are brilliant together. And the sneakers really make it such a practical every day outfit with tons of style! Oh, I do hate asking for help as well. And I will resist at all costs, but sometimes it is necessary and we are made to be a communal species who are to rely on and help one other for our survival. I am so glad that you have a wonderful network of friends who help and I am even happier that you have received help from the services offered by your municipality. That is what those services are for and you deserve them!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much! I do agree! Lol.

  12. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    My husband and I have the hardest time asking for help. It didn’t help our fear when the two times in our lives we did ask for help the answer was no. It makes you fearful to ask again. I love your outfit. It looks great with the sneakers.

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Oh that is awful Amy! I can understand that it makes you more afraid to ask again!

  13. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Such a beautiful outfit, loving the blue on you!
    We too don’t like asking anyone for help. But so glad you did ask and got the help you were looking for!
    Ellibelle’s Corner

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much!

  14. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Nancy, sometimes I forget that you’re sick. Your pictures are full of life and energy! Your style – the same. I’m so glad you’re getting some help and enjoying that “chair” for a bit. Will you get to keep it? Btw, love the pin striped dress!

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes they applied it now for me , but it will take a few months! It makes me happy that you forget that I am sick! Thanks love!

  15. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I know exactly what yo mean Nancy about household help. What I wouldnt give for a housekeeper once a week!
    I do the bathrooms and can do some household jobs, my hubby does the harder stuff too. I can easily get exhuasted from standing or kneeling for long periods.
    Love how you belted your long duster!
    it looks great!
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks Jess! It would be good for you too, to have help in your household!

  16. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Geourges look, dear Nancy! I love your pinestrip dress with the cardigan, you look very pretty!
    Hugs, Nadine

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks Nadine!

  17. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I would have no qualms about asking the council for help. I do have difficulty with friends and family. In fact the time I needed to ask a family member she had a commitment and couldn’t help. I felt bad for asking then. I admire you doing so and think we should more. A great example you have set.

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks Anna!

  18. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    Isn’t it interesting that it’s hard for us to ask for help? But I’m glad you were able to and that the council came thru for you both. Over the last few years, I’ve learnt that asking for help is not a sign of weakness for myself. In fact, it’s made me feel stronger.
    I love your striped dress and the leopard print details. It looks so chic on you!

    xo, Jackie
    stylemydreams.com

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      I totally agree! It made me feel stronger, when I asked! I was a bit proud! Thanks Jackie!

  19. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I find it’s never easy to ask for help, but sometimes needs must. Glad you’re getting some help around the home, and your weelchair will give you the necessary freedom without being pushed. I saw you whizzing around on Instagram 😉 Your dress and cardigan outfit is gorgeous, navy is a great colour on you, Nancy! xxx

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes I agree, on the navy! Thanks Ann!

  20. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I have a trouble asking for help too—it’s hard to be so vulnerable sometimes! But people are generally ready to help, which is reaffirming!
    Cheryl Shops | http://www.cherylshops.net

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes it is! Thanks Cheryl!

  21. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I know what you mean, I have a hard time asking for help, too. I hope you can get the new wheelchair and help you need around the house.// You’re business meets sneakers look is really cute, I wouldn’t think to put these pieces together.

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      To be honest, I like this dress the best with sneakers. Also because i am a matchy mathy girl. And the white of the sneakers is in the zippers of the collars too!

  22. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I love your outfit Nancy, but even more your honest opinion about asking for help. I think we can all be too stubborn at times and the question is why? I think you are just doing the only right thing dear: ask for help when you need it! I have seen you wheelchair on Insta by the way and you rock in it. I really hope it will broaden your world and makes you more mobile and independent! Love, Lieske

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much Lieske!

  23. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    I love the navy dress and cardigan together and your accessories are such a fun way to add a little print mixing! 🙂

    It’s great you’ve found the help you needed! Sometimes people don’t know we need help if we don’t ask!

    Thank you for the link up!

    Hope that you have a nice weekend ahead of you 🙂

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      You are so correct! We havn’t written on our forehead that we need help. And people often are willing to help! Have a good weekend!

  24. 31st January 2020 / 18:22

    We have a cleaning service come in every two weeks to do our kitchen, bathroom and all the floors and living room areas. I hate cleaning, and I’m just too worn out by the time I get home from work. I do find it hard to ask for help – I always feel like I’m imposing on people. But I do know that most of the time, people WANT to help.

    I thought of you today, Nancy – I bought a tiara! I have a gala event to go to and have been wanting one for a while. And, as it’s been a rough week for me, I put it on when I got back to the office, and I’m loving it. So thank you for the inspiration!!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      And why be bothered with cleaning hey! I am not sure what kind of inspiration I gave you love?

  25. jodie filogomo
    1st February 2020 / 18:22

    I think part of what makes it so hard, is my mom brought me up to be independent and strong. Yet that’s silly because we all need help at times. At least you’re learning.
    And I LOVE the leopard touches in the outfit Nancy,
    XOXO
    Jodie

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes , I think we feel the need to be independent. Thanks Jodie!

  26. 1st February 2020 / 18:22

    Navy blue is such a classic color and timeless. I can see why you are attracted to it. Asking for help is not easy. I am glad that you have friends that are willing to go the distance regarding helping out. They are keepers and definitely priceless friends! Wishing you a beautiful weekend Nancy!

    Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes they are! Thanks Maureen! Happy weekend!

  27. 1st February 2020 / 18:22

    Super cute casual look Nancy! Asking for help is extremely difficult. I’m like you, I typically try to take car of things myself so I know from experience. Good for you for asking and I’m so happy it worked out really well for you! xo
    Debbie
    http://www.fashionfairydust.com

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much Debbie!

  28. 1st February 2020 / 18:22

    You are so right! Why is it so hard to ask for help?! My husband travels frequently and we have no family nearby so sometimes I need help and I feel embarrassed sometimes like I should be able to do it all myself. But everyone is so willing to help! I’m glad you asked and got what you needed!

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes stupid hey that it makes us feel embarrassed! We are weird human beings!Lol.

  29. 1st February 2020 / 18:22

    This is a pretty dress and I like how you accessorized it! Thank you for choosing my look as your favourite of the week, it made my day :))

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      It is my pleasure!

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks Amber!

  30. 1st February 2020 / 18:22

    I have no idea why asking for help is always so difficult but it just is. Good for you making the decision to ask for home help, it will make your life easier as will your self propelled chair.
    Great outfit Nancy , such a good combination. Many thanks for hosting , enjoy your weekend.

    • nancy
      Author
      1st February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much Jill! Have a good weekend!

  31. 2nd February 2020 / 18:22

    Well most of us think that asking for help makes us seem weak and dependent and probably in today’s world it is taken as a sign of vulnerability. But there is no shame in asking for help cause frankly speaking you can not do everything on your own.

    • nancy
      Author
      3rd February 2020 / 18:22

      That’s true! Thanks love!

  32. 2nd February 2020 / 18:22

    I hate how hard it is to ask for help, I’m too stubborn I think. I really hope you get the help you need, and the perfect wheelchair. I love that outfit xo

    MakeupMuddle.com

    • nancy
      Author
      3rd February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much!

  33. 2nd February 2020 / 18:22

    I agree that it is not so easy to ask for help. Actually, it is quite difficult. We don’t want to be dependent on others. But everybody needs help from time to time. Great that you did ask. Thank you for hosting the link-up and have a wonderful day.

    Anna
    http://www.glamadventure.com

    • nancy
      Author
      3rd February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you Anna!

  34. 2nd February 2020 / 18:22

    I hear you! I have had a chronic illness for a long time and I find it really hard to ask people for help. I do everything myself. I should really learn how to ask for help…there is nothing wrong in asking for it and often people are more than happy to help.

    • nancy
      Author
      3rd February 2020 / 18:22

      That’s true! And it really makes you feel good if you get that help you need! So ask!

  35. 2nd February 2020 / 18:22

    You look gorgeous in this dress. You look stunning.

    • nancy
      Author
      3rd February 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks love!

  36. 2nd February 2020 / 18:22

    Another lovely outfit, Nancy! As far as asking for help, I think it makes us feel vulnerable and many of don’t like to feel that way. But as you observed many of your friends would be therein a red hot minute. They like feeling like your hero. Sounds like your new wheelchair is going to be awesome.

    Michelle
    http://mybijoulifeonline.com

    • nancy
      Author
      3rd February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you very much!

  37. 3rd February 2020 / 18:22

    Lovely look Nancy. I find it hard to ask first help sometimes but sometimes its just needed. Glad you got the new chair!

    • nancy
      Author
      4th February 2020 / 18:22

      Thank you!

  38. 3rd February 2020 / 18:22

    I know what you mean – It is hard to ask for help sometimes, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and we all need to at times. It can also make the helper feel good about themselves.
    A lovely outfit and pics Nancy. Have a lovely week.
    Alison xx

    • nancy
      Author
      4th February 2020 / 18:22

      Yes I agree! Thank you!

    • nancy
      Author
      4th February 2020 / 18:22

      Thanks love!

  39. 4th February 2020 / 18:22

    The more I actually asked for it the easier it got. At least that was my experience. Well, so glad you got your help Nancy. Thanks for hosting. Fijn avond. Kusje. Sabina

    • nancy
      Author
      5th February 2020 / 18:22

      That is true! It becomes easier! Thanks Sabina!

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